Opening up an old book and writing again

It has been over 5 years since I wrote my last post on this blog, and it was something that I wasn’t really happy with in the first place. Its has since been deleted.

Much like the mistake of letting this blog dwindle and also putting up something which has not been the main point of this site (game reviews, daily dairy & writing), I have been proceeding ahead with life just like how anyone else would. The main problem I encountered with my journey so far was a very distinct lacking of direction towards the life I wanted versus the life I have at this moment. Which is why I’ve returned.

I came back to remember who I was so many years ago and what I used to talk about with such passion and interest. The flames that warmed my spirits during my low periods in life have been forgotten and whiffed out by the unending winds of work and life. I had forgotten who I was and have no recollection of who I have become. Instinct lead me back to the path I once traveled, and the familiar footsteps and puddles rekindled the younger man within.

Looking back at my older postings of games and exercise, I recall now the habit of writing that kept my creativity inspired as well as the duality of character which my writing  gave a voice to. My words and thoughts sketched a persona, which now was more lifelike, accompanied me and entertained the constant explosion of ideas in my mind, it was the sparkles that followed the fireworks of my thoughts.

And I… I have not heard it for so long, nor so clearly again as I do today.

I’m a very different person now. More grown up, more aware and much more tired. My years in the Hospitality industry has, for the better, matured me as a man and allowed me a decent living. I am very thankful for the many opportunities I have been offered and taken as well as the wonderful people I had the honor of working alongside, learning from and calling them friend.

But as I’ve learned, my passion and drive is not fed and emboldened within this career path. For all the good it has given, there are just as many moments where I have been downtrodden, humiliated and abused. It has turned me into an angry, spiteful and bitter person, often pushing me into moods of depression, anxiety and rage. Suicide was a constant after though.

For the longest time, I endured it. Anything worth doing wasn’t easy, and this was far from it. I didn’t stop to consider whether the price I pay of my sanity and health was worth the security and comforts of the salary and benefits. As often the case with many examples, it would be a second too late when the idea hits the right series of synapses.

I’ll be honest, I’m hating it.

The restaurant I manage, the team I lead and the group of people I work for are by all accounts; amazing. The courage these people have to face the daily grind and the simple determination to earn a living speaks volumes of the character they uphold. I am proud to be considered their friend and manager. And it pains me to hold all these pent up frustrations and the divisive mental strains I contain within.

So I have decided not to repeat the mistakes I made before. I won’t be making sudden resignations or disappearances, I’ve grown up from those options. I’ll be facing these challenges with a mature mindset and an open mind. I still have a livelihood to consider and two parents to take care of. I want to start taking a step back into a path I know I should be rather than one I was told to be on.

Wish me luck.

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I’ve Yet To See The Northern Lights

I want to see them.

Aurora Borealis, also known as the Northern Lights. Its a natural light display in the sky in high altitude usually found in the Arctic/Antarctic regions.

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For the scientifically inclined, they are formed by the collision of energetic charged particles with atoms in the thermosphere. The collision forms energy to release in the form of large auroras circling around the poles. Depending on the altitude, the color of the aurora varies. Higher altitudes are red in color due to Oxygen emissions, lower altitudes are green from Nitrogen emissions; and here’s the cool part: Yellow and Pink auroras are a mixture of red and green together. Blue and Purple auroras are at even lower altitudes.

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These auroras show up as a diffuse glow or ‘flowing curtains’ that are constantly changing and evolving.

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I’ll see them one day.

Creativity.

John Cleese is an awesome person. I remember laughing so much when I watched Monty Python and The Holy Grail for the first time. I loved everything about a killer rabbit, holy hand grenades, and an extremely stubborn dark knight. What took me in was how creative the ideas were, and seeing movies like this got my brain activity spiking way off the charts. So when I came upon this awesome video:

It hit home for me. I had believed myself a rebel by thinking the way I did and not conforming to the usual mind set of a ‘mature’ adult. It just wasn’t in my nature.

Quiet Sunday.

It WAS a quiet Sunday. That Sunday is now over, as we welcome in the opening days of Hari Raya.

Here’s a video for you guys, ShakaKhan Plays: Ittle Dew Part 2 is out!

I’ve been playing around with some other video editing stuff and have also gotten a bit more comfortable with the microphone. I’m really aiming to be more open and animated as I go along with more videos in the future. Meanwhile, I hope you enjoy it and please feel free to comment on the video or right here on what I can improve on, as well as video games you’d like to see me take on.

Get your Broforce on.

Its the weekend and boy am I glad its here. A much needed rest is due but as always I don’t actually get any real rest until Sunday as the niece and nephew visit every Saturday. I love those two little soft rolls, I do, with all that energy and playfulness stored up inside. Its when their energy just seems limitless that I have to hide in my room from time to time to recharge my own. Other times I’m lucky and they’re sitting down quietly enjoying an episode of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic with a bowl of biscuits between them. Today was not that day.

During one of my few respites, I was fiddling though my computer files and found a .zip file for a demo I forgot about. It was the alpha build for Broforce. Haven’t heard of it? Check out the trailer:

As if it wasn’t obvious enough, this cool 8-bit styled platforming shoot-em-up game has you playing as the many different action heroes from famous Hollywood movies and shows. Ranging from the Texas Ranger, John Matrix, Mr.T and even Blade, this game is brotastic! I highly recommend giving this game a try. You can grab the free demo “Brototype” here and check out their Greenlight page for more information.

This game is way too much fun, and I hope they consider 2 player co-op\competitive in the full version. Have fun.

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Here’s A Tune For You.

Here’s something for you guys who are sick of mainstream music (which is probably everyone by now). While trudging through today, I realized I was working in complete silence and decided to roll the dice with Youtube by typing “Indie Music” on the search bar. What I found did not disappoint.

Here’s the band that I’ve been listening to the whole day, and perhaps much longer from now on.

All The Luck In The World

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These guys are from Ireland and have been playing as a band since 2011, they’ve been getting around with their alternative tunes, leading up to their first album titled “Never” which also happens to be the name of the song that got me interested.

I like them in a very nostalgic way, the sound of the the guitar and his voice seems to fit so well, letting my mind reminisce freely.

Also here’s a game on Newgrounds that I found a few days ago. Its a simple defense game with upgrades, but the humor and art style is really enjoyable. Give it a go, you’ll find yourself spending about an hour so playing it, even if the mechanics are not your slice of pie, you’ll still find the humor entertaining. So peace off!

The Peacekeeper.

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